stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
