i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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