Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
