You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
