I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
