having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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