I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
