god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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