dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
