woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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