i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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