it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
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I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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