found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
