I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
