Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize