Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
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So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated