I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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