Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark. http://tfl.nu/i86g
  Replies (13) Good night (1167) Bad night (2393)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings http://tfl.nu/sahq
  Replies (30) Good night (2947) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed! http://tfl.nu/xwtw
  Replies (26) Good night (3717) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK. http://tfl.nu/twe7
  Replies (96) Good night (7641) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Toaster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you? (316): Toaster http://tfl.nu/fbwm
  Replies (48) Good night (26153) Bad night (1700)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers http://tfl.nu/jgqx
  Replies (4) Good night (5567) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time http://tfl.nu/x6gg
  Replies (21) Good night (1174) Bad night (5548)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this http://tfl.nu/u2zv
  Replies (20) Good night (1167) Bad night (6165)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns http://tfl.nu/xc39
  Replies (10) Good night (5165) Bad night (1879)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened. http://tfl.nu/5edl
  Replies (4) Good night (2645) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals http://tfl.nu/i9zu
  Replies (12) Good night (2111) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless. http://tfl.nu/zvko
  Replies (5) Good night (1555) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (747): View more from California

  by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (747): by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party. http://tfl.nu/9v1z
  Replies (8) Good night (2091) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss. http://tfl.nu/y1tc
  Replies (5) Good night (642) Bad night (1407)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift http://tfl.nu/may0
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (295)

Randomize