i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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