How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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