First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
