"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
