You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
