when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize