i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
