she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
