i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize