It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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