16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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