TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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