? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
