they need to just BURY HIM!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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