whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
