I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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