He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
