everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
