a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Bring me that man meat
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
