Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
