Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
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And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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