idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
