actually, I'm a sock model
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
