i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
