I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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