I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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