Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
vagina is talking i cant
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
