who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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