Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
