ugly people sure do ruin things
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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