i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
