we made out on top of his cat.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
