I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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