But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
