He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
