drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
