I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
A bitchslap is in order.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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