So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house