Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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