Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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