Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
