the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize