I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
